


Miscellaneous Prompts

by carnivalinsidemyhead



Category: Take That
Genre: Agoraphobia, Angst, Comfort, Exhibitionism, Flirting, Fluff, Friendship, Guilt, Insecurity, Jealousy, Kissing, Love, M/M, Psychological issues, Sleeptalking, Soulmates, Substance Abuse, compliments, cross dressing, innocence/depravity duality
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-24
Updated: 2020-08-08
Packaged: 2021-02-27 04:55:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 23
Words: 8,504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22391368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carnivalinsidemyhead/pseuds/carnivalinsidemyhead
Summary: Collection of random ficlets originally posted on tumblr that don’t fit into the smut prompts or cuddle prompts.
Relationships: Gary Barlow/Howard Donald, Gary Barlow/Mark Owen, Howard Donald/Jason Orange, Howard Donald/Jason Orange/Gary Barlow, Howard Donald/Mark Owen, Mark Owen/Robbie Williams, Mark Owen/all
Comments: 1
Kudos: 21





	1. You Said My Name In Your Sleep (Mark/Robbie)

“You said my name in your sleep.”

Robbie scrunched his face up in confusion. Mark was sitting at the foot of the sofa where Robbie had been dozing with an “I’ve got a secret” sort of smile on his face.

“When did I do that?”

“Maybe twenty minutes ago? Did you have a nice nap, I hope?”

Robbie nodded, still slightly dazed. “Yeah, thanks, I did..what do you mean I said your name in my sleep?”

Mark grinned wickedly at him. “It was less talking and more moaning really.”

Robbie cringed. “What..what else did I say?” 

“Something about me touching your..and then it was mumbling and you started snoring again.”

“I don’t snore!”

Mark laughed. “You do. Loudly. Always have done.”

Robbie pouted. 

“Oh come off it, it’s no big deal. Now what I want to know is what were you dreaming about?” Mark’s eyes sparkled with mischief shaded with desire.

“Don’t remember.”

“Oh.” Mark couldn’t hide his disappointment.

“Yeah, it’s a complete blank, I’m afraid..”

It was Robbie’s turn to have an “I’ve got a secret” smile on his face.

“But I bet if you start touching me, it will come back to me.”


	2. You’re So Fucking Hot When You’re Mad (Mark/Robbie)

It took a lot to get Mark angry and it was a slow build sort of thing. But once the anger was there, it took even more to shift it.

“What the fuck is your problem lately, Rob?” Mark seethes at him as he paces up and down the hotel room carpet and glares at Robbie perched on the edge of the bed.

“You’re always high on god knows what, you’re never around anymore, you keep slagging us off... you could have fucking KILLED Jay at practice today!”

He looks at Robbie for a reaction but Robbie is just staring at him, glassy eyed.

Mark shakes his head. “Do you even hear what I’m saying? Do you even care about anyone but yourself??”

“You keep going on about how selfish Gaz is, but frankly, you’re just as bad as him. Maybe even worse because…”

Robbie clears his throat to speak.

Mark stops, worried he’s pushed it too far. 

But all Robbie says is “You’re so fucking hot when you’re mad.”

Mark rolls his eyes and storms out. 

A week later, Robbie is given an ultimatum. Mark still has the anger inside him, seething underneath the surface. He’s glad that Jason is reading Robbie the riot act. Someone needs to get through to him somehow, after all. He can tell Robbie is expecting him to come to his defense like he always does but he’s not going to do that.

And then Robbie is walking out the door and reality comes crashing down on Mark as his anger dissolves into horror and guilt.

“What the fuck have we done?”


	3. See The Light On Your Face (Mark/Robbie)

Robbie hits repeat on the CD player over and over and lets the tears fall down his face, wrapped up in blankets on his couch with the curtains drawn, the same today, tomorrow, and forever. 

“Hey! Let me love you! You’re all that matters to me!”

He picks up the phone and dials a number he’s not sure is even good anymore.

The phone on the other end rings and rings and rings.  
Robbie is about to hang up when a sleepy voice answers.

“ ‘Lo?”  
Robbie opens his mouth to speak but nothing comes out.  
“Hello?? Is somebody there?”  
More silence from Robbie.

“Okay, I’m gonna hang up then…”  
“No!!” Robbie shouts in his head.  
Aloud he just manages to croak out “Help me.”

“Rob?” Mark whispers. “Rob is that you?”  
Robbie starts to cry and hangs up the phone.

He’s awoken in the middle of the next night by an insistent, repeated knocking on his front door.  
“What the fuck?? Who the…”  
Cautiously and grumbling and still more than half asleep, he opens up the door.

“You came?” He whispers, not fully believing his eyes.  
“Did you really think I wouldn’t?” asks Mark.

And then Robbie is pulling Mark inside and falling into his arms and Mark is kissing him and stroking his hair and letting him cry on his shoulder.

And they are tumbling into bed, tearing off clothes and ripping buttons and biting lips, hands roaming everywhere and maybe it’s too soon, maybe they should be talking, but Robbie doesn’t care. 

All he wants is to let Mark love him. 

Maybe they’ll talk in the morning. Maybe he will finally open his curtains. Maybe he will even step outside. 

Maybe he will do a lot of the things he’s been too scared to do now that he’s got Mark by his side.

But for now, all he cares is that Mark is here in his arms, smiling up at him and it’s like he has all the warmth and the light of the sun shining just for him.


	4. Still He Fights With His Mind  (Gary/Howard)

There were a lot of things Gary regretted from the first run of the band, but none more so than being so consumed by his own ambition that he didn’t notice how emotionally fragile Howard was. He’s still not sure if they could have carried on much longer, but still, he should have thought about how it affected Howard. He should have noticed it was upsetting him. He should have cared. Howard was his best friend for fuck’s sake. 

Howard doesn’t hold a grudge against him for it, because of course he doesn’t, but Gary doesn’t think he’ll ever completely forgive himself. Especially since he knows that Howard spent years thinking he must have done something wrong, must have done something to upset Gary.

And so maybe he’s a bit overprotective of Howard these days. Maybe he checks up on him more than is strictly necessary. Maybe he makes a point of pushing him forward in the studio because he knows Howard won’t push himself. You can hardly blame him for wanting to take good care of a friend who loves him more than a brother. 

Howard grumbles over Gary’s mother henning in his gruff way but it pleases him really, underneath. And so, at the third “just happened to be in the neighborhood, totally not checking up on you” appearance of Gary popping up unannounced in a week, he’s about to give him an earful but he stops when he looks at Gary and sees the worry on his face. All his irritation vanishes and is replaced by affection and he greets Gary with a big hug and a sloppy kiss and tells him he’s a daft sod and he loves him and to come inside already, he’ll put the kettle on. 

And they need to talk things out more, they know they need to, but right now all either of them needs is to sit together in this cozy kitchen and just be in each other’s presence.


	5. Stay With Me: Variations on a theme (Gary/Howard)

1\. “Stay with me?”

It’s late. The others have all drifted off to their own rooms but Howard and Gary have carried on talking and drinking and laughing. Occasionally Gary will go over to the keyboard in the corner and work out bits of a melody that’s been floating in his head and Howard will give his opinion on it. He’s the only one whose opinion Gary really trusts. They’re both yawning and Howard is about to head back to his room and let Gary get some sleep when Gary stops him and asks him to stay.

Howard hesitates for a fraction of a second and then says “ Yeah. Alright. But I’m making you sleep in the bath if you wake me up with your snoring again.”

2\. “Stay with me. Please.”

Howard lies on the bed, panting and naked and sticky and watches Gary pulling his pants back on. It’s ending soon, all of it. The band’s breaking up and they’re all going their separate ways. They’re all ready for it. 

All but Howard.

“Stay with me. Please.” He whispers at Gary’s back as he’s walking out the door.  
But Gary doesn’t hear him.

3\. “Stay with me? Please?”

Gary hasn’t seen Howard in years. He’s depressed and overweight and isolated and ashamed. He’s avoided seeing him, seeing all of them, for years. But when he finally does and Howard wraps his arms around him, he feels safe and loved and not judged for the first time in far too long. And at the end of the evening he doesn’t want to let go.

“Stay with me?” He looks at Howard anxiously. “Please?”

Howard nods. “Wasn’t planning on going anywhere.”

4\. “I wish I could stay.”

Many years have passed and they’re both grey and old and declining. Howard sits next to the bed in the hospice and strokes Gary’s hand. 

“I’m supposed to be the one who goes first. Bastard.”

Gary laughs weakly and is overwhelmed by a coughing fit.

“I’m sorry. I wish I could stay with you,” he whispers as he drifts off to sleep.

Howard blinks back tears and strokes his hair.

“Me too. Bastard.”


	6. You’re Safe With Me (Mark/all)

Mark is the one whom they all instinctively want to protect. He’s small and sweet and kindhearted and far too trusting for his own good. They want to keep him safe from harm. But they’ll never admit how safe he makes them feel.

-It’s the opening night of the Ultimate Tour. They’re all bricking it. Mark is slightly less nervous than the rest because he’s carried on performing during this past decade but he’s still anxious. He’s hiding it though, as best he can, because he knows they need him to be strong for them. Even if they won’t admit it. Jason is breathing into a paper bag while Howard rubs his back soothingly. And Gary is...Gary is completely frozen. They’re due to get into their start up positions any minute and Gary can’t move. Mark takes his hand and speaks to him gently, “hey, hey now, you’re gonna be awwright, yeah?” Gary still looks terrified. Mark puts his arm around him and kisses his cheek. “You’re gonna be awwright, Gaz. I’ll be right there with you. You’re safe with me.”  
Gary lets out a sigh of relief and squeezes Mark’s arm. “Thanks mate,” he whispers as he steps into place to wait for their cue. 

-“Something troubling you, Jay?” It’s the end of a recording session for Beautiful World and nearly everyone has packed up for the day. Jason is still sitting quietly, deep in thought. He looks up at Mark’s worried face. His first instinct is to brush it off, he doesn’t like making Mark worry and Howard’s the one he usually confides in.  
“It’s alright if you need to talk. You’re safe with me.” And Jason finds that he believes him and pours out all his fears and self doubts about not being worthy of singing Wooden Boat and not being worthy of being in the band and of not having anything to contribute besides being an ex breakdancer. And Mark listens and reassures him and Jason might not entirely believe Mark when he tells him he’s amazing but he feels better all the same.

-Howard hasn’t told any of them, not even Jason, not even himself really, how he really feels about Jason until after Jason says he wants to leave. He’s been quiet, even for him, and Mark worries, knowing Jason’s decision must really be hitting him hard. He invites him to lunch and greets him with a hug and a reassuring squeeze of the hand and whispers “you’re safe with me.” And Howard looks at him with his blue, blue eyes welled up with unshed tears and it all comes pouring out. And Mark tells him he should let Jason know but he never breathes a word himself, not to Gary, not to Robbie, not to Jason. He wouldn’t betray Howard’s trust.

-Robbie is scared, he is so, so scared of doing the tour with them. Of making an album with them. So scared he’ll do something wrong and fuck it all up. So scared he can’t perform anymore. So scared he’s going to make them all hate him again. Mark flies out to see him. “Do ya trust me, Rob?” Robbie nods, hesitantly. Mark takes his hands in his own and faces him. “You’re safe with me, awwright? You’re safe with all of us.” And he sits with Robbie and breaks their plans down so Robbie only has to think of one step at a time because if Robbie has to think about the next step he won’t be able to take the first step and all Robbie needs is someone to help him take that first step.

Mark is the one whom they all instinctively want to protect and he loves them all dearly for it. When he was younger he couldn’t protect them but now he’s making up for it. And whether they admit or not he makes them feel safe is unimportant to him. 

Just as long as they all do. That’s all that matters to him.


	7. Kissing on the stairs (Howard/Mark) Mature

They were milling about under the stage killing time while Robbie did his set, chatting and sipping tea and nibbling on chocolates hidden in dressing gown pockets. Gary and Jason were deep in discussion in the corner while Mark as usual was watching Robbie and bouncing up and down with excitement. He turned around when he felt Howard’s eyes on him. Howard was smiling but there was an undercurrent of anxiety in his face. 

Mark walked over to him and took his hand and looked up at him.

“I haven’t fallen for him again, How, I promise. I’m just happy he’s here and we’re all together again. You’re the only one I want, y’know.”

Howard nodded doubtfully. 

“I just don’t know how I could compete if you ever did change your mind. I’m hardly in the same league as Bob, am I? What could I ever give you that could measure up?”

“Hush you. I’m not in Bob’s league either if it comes to it. And you have plenty to offer me.”

“Such as?”

“Well you make me laugh and you’re kind and thoughtful and a good listener and a fantastic lover and as for measuring up, well…”

He ran a hand over Howard’s crotch and looked up with an arch smile.

“Let’s just say Bob’s the one that doesn’t measure up.”

Howard laughed. 

“That does make me feel better, that.”

Mark smiled. 

“Can I ask ya a favor, How?”

“Shoot.”

“When we’re climbing back up to the stage can you wait and climb up last?”

Howard looked at him suspiciously.

“What’re you up to?”

Mark gave him his best puppy eyes. “Please?”

“Yeah, alright.”

About fifteen minutes later, the five of them were all dressed in their outfits for the third act of the show and lined up at the stairwell to the stage. Gary ran up first, followed by Jason, and then Robbie. Mark waited for Robbie to get to the top and then climbed up until he was a little over halfway up the stairs and motioned Howard to follow him. Then he held his hand out to signal him to stop once he’d gone up two steps and smiled at Howard. A dirty, mischievous, secret sort of smile.

Howard looked at their respective positions and grinned. Mark was just far enough ahead on the stairs for him to have to look up at him but still close enough to touch.

“You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?”

Mark responded by leaning down and kissing him on the mouth. A hard, possessive kiss that left Howard breathless.

Mark looked him over intensely and ran his fingers down his chest to his cock, giving it a quick squeeze. 

“I’m in charge tonight. And there’s plenty I can think of for you to offer me.”

Howard gulped as he watched Mark turn around and climb up to the top, swaying his hips, and fought the urge to take him right there. 

He was gonna have a hell of a time getting through the rest of the show. But Mark was his. He was sure of it again.


	8. Tell Me Again (Gary/Mark)

“You’re right.”

Mark looked up and grinned at Gary frowning at the stage filled with inflatable jellyfish and seahorses.

“I didn’t think an undersea setting would work for The Garden but it does. It really does.”

“Course I’m right. I’m always right. You’re just too stubborn to admit it.”

“Hey I’m admitting it now aren’t I?”

“Mmm..”

Mark walked over to Gary and draped his arm around his waist and pecked his cheek.

“Tell me again,” he said with another grin. 

“I don’t know if I should…”

“Tell me again and I’ll kiss you for real…”

Gary’s eyebrows shot up at that and he coughed and looked around to make sure no one was watching them.

“Err..you’re right,” he whispered.

Mark cupped his face in his hands and leaned in and touched his lips to Gary’s, a soft, sweet, teasing kiss with the tiniest hint of tongue and the promise of more to come when they had more time and privacy.

“Love ya Mr. B.”

Gary grinned.

“Tell me again.”


	9. I Thought You Were Dead (Mark/Robbie)

“Oww..” Mark feels himself being slapped back into consciousness with a sharp blow to the face. 

He narrows his eyes at Robbie.

“What’d you do that for?”

“I thought you were dead! You’ve been out cold for almost twenty minutes now!”

Mark giggles. “I’m just drunk, Rob. Relax, awwright?”

He starts to sit up and is quickly hit with a wave of nausea and lays back down.

“You’re right, Rob. Looks like I’m dyyyyyinnngg”, he calls out in a singsong voice. 

Robbie frowns. “It’s not funny, Mark.”

Mark giggles again. 

Robbie looks at all the empty wine bottles. 

“Did you drink all of these tonight?”

Mark frowns at him. “What if I did? You’re not my mum.”

Robbie looks at him anxiously. “Do you drink like this all the time now, Markie?”

Mark is silent.

“Do you?”

Mark stays silent.

“Is this payback?”

Mark looks confused.

“Is this payback for all the times you found me passed out cold and were worried sick? Is this payback for that?”

Mark starts to shake his head and then stops and groans in pain.

“Not everything is about you, ya know.”

Robbie nods. “Fair point.”

He gently lifts Mark into a partial sitting position and looks at him with love and concern.

“So what is this about?”

“Don’t wanna talk about it.”

He sighs. “You need help, Markie.”

“You’re one to talk.”

Robbie sighs again. “Yeah. I know. I know. But at least I can admit that I’m fucked up.”

Mark laughs bitterly.

“Oh trust me, I’m totally aware of how fucked up I am.”

“So you’ll get help then?”

Mark laughs again. “Don’t deserve it…” he mumbles and drifts back into unconsciousness. 

Robbie holds him in his arms and wonders how he can convince him that he does. And how he can convince himself he does as well.


	10. I Want An Answer, Goddamnit! (Gary/Mark) Explicit

Gary glares at Mark across the breakfast table. Mark pauses his forkful of eggs and beans in midair and looks worried.

“Something wrong, Gaz?”

Gary takes a deliberately slow slip of his tea.

“Oh, no. Why should anything be wrong?” he asks in a deceptively calm voice.

Mark nods, still dubious, and goes back to eating his eggs and beans.

“Did you have a nice time with Rob last night?”

Mark nods again. “Yeah, I did.”

“Great. That’s great, that is.”

It’s Mark’s turn to glare now.

“I’m not giving up my friendship with him just because the two of you can’t get on, Gaz.”

Gary butters his slice of toast with rather more aggression than is required for the task and hisses, “Your *friendship* is the least of it. Did you fuck him?”

Mark stays silent.

“Did you?”

Mark stays silent.

“I want an answer, goddamnit!”

Mark takes a deliberately slow slip of his own cup of tea and regards Gary gravely.

“We agreed that I wasn’t going to tell you what I did with Rob because you didn’t want to know. You don’t get to change the rules on a whim.”

Gary ignores this.

“Who topped, eh?” Did he let you top him? Did he? Was he nice and tight for you? Did you make him scream, then? Did you make him scream when you did that thing with your tongue? Did he give you head? Did he make you scream?”

Mark fixes a cool, level gaze at Gary. 

“If you’re that curious, why don’t you fuck him yourself?”

“I know you’re dying to.”


	11. When Are You Gonna Write A Song For Me?(Gary/Jason/Howard)

“When are you gonna write a song for me?”

They’d laughed through that bit, Gary and Jason, taking the piss at Jay’s expense. And then laughed through the bit where Jason and Howard took the piss at Gary’s expense as Gary mocked his own bad dancing. 

Because that was what they did. Took the piss and laughed things off. 

They couldn’t possibly be hurt for real by it, right? 

After all, Jason knew he wasn’t there to sing and Gary knew he wasn’t there to dance. They could be laughed at. It was fine.

Except for the part where it wasn’t. Not really, not underneath. 

Underneath it rankled. Underneath it hurt, without them even being fully aware that it hurt. 

They might not have been aware, but Howard was. Howard who knew them both better than anyone. Howard who picked up more than people guessed as he quietly watched his bandmates. Howard who was more sensitive than many people guessed and worried about hurting people’s feelings. Howard who was tired of how the two of them had been bickering nonstop over the daftest little things since they made that silly little video. 

He sat waiting on the end of the couch in the dressing room and patted the cushion next to him when he saw Jason and Gary walking in together, arguing as usual.

“Sit,” he said. “Both of you.”

They sat, eyeing each other warily.

“Right,” he declared brusquely, “Gaz, you owe Jay an apology.” 

Jason and Gary both looked confused. 

“It bother you when he makes fun of your singin, Jay?” 

Jason shook his head. “What? No...no it’s alright..it..” He faltered and looked nervous.

“Actually...it...it sort of does bother me a little bit..”

Gary looked surprised. “Didn’t know that. Sorry, Jay. Was just havin a laugh. Didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.” Jason accepted his apology with a quiet nod and a quick hug. 

Howard nodded approvingly. Then he said “and me and Jay owe you an apology for laughing at your dancin and all.”

“Oh that’s alright, I’m rubbish at dancing, you should laugh at me…”

Jason looked at him thoughtfully. “It doesn’t bother you at all?”

Gary laughed nervously. “No, no of course not..it...okay, maybe a tiny bit…”

Howard nodded. “Then we’re sorry.”

“Err…thanks.” Gary looked to his companions on either side in awkward uncertainty. 

“What do we do now?”

“I think this is the part where we kiss and make up,” smiled Jason. “What do you think, How?”

Howard nodded.

“Long as you don’t leave me out of the snogging.”


	12. I don’t remember saying ‘are you alright?’ (Mark/Robbie)

They’re at the hotel after the show at Knebworth. The post concert adrenaline buzz has worn off and they’re in reflective mode now, reminiscing about old times and starting, for the first time, really, to talk about things they’ve spent years avoiding talking about. 

Mark chews his lower lip worriedly. 

“When...when you left...I’m not sure how I should have handled it but I…”

He looks at Robbie with a guilt stricken expression.

“I don’t even remember saying ‘are you alright?’”

Robbie nods imperceptibly, eyes downcast. It’s still painful for him to talk about that day.

“I...I don’t think I really believed it was happening, y’know? That you were leaving me…”

His voice gets smaller.

“That you wanted to leave me…”

Robbie looks stricken. 

“I didn’t want to leave you, Markie. I didn’t ever want to leave you. You know that, right?”

Mark looks doubtful.

“But you were so unhappy with us and you kept slagging us off and…”

Robbie shakes his head at him. 

“I was unhappy with the band, Markie. I was upset with Gary and Nigel and…”

He reaches out and strokes Mark’s cheek.

“Never with you. I was never upset with you.”

Mark leans into the touch and takes hold of Robbie’s hand and kisses it.

“All the same, I should have made sure you were alright. And I’m sorry I didn’t.”

He looks at Robbie worriedly. 

“I hope you haven’t thought that I didn’t care.”

Robbie drapes his arms over Mark’s shoulders and pulls him close so that they’re touching forehead to forehead.

“It’s alright, Markie. I never once thought that. Not really…”

He pulls back just enough to be able to place a brief, gentle kiss on Mark’s lips.

“But it’s still good to hear you say it.”

He kisses him again, a bit more lingeringly.

“And I’m sorry too,” he whispers. “I never meant to hurt you. I wanted to hurt everybody else but I didn’t want to hurt you...I just didn’t understand then that hurting the others hurt you too…”

Mark looks at him curiously.

“Are you...are you sorry for hurting the others?”

Robbie stiffens. “Ye-es...and no..and... I’m still a mess about that Mark, honestly. I need to know they’re sorry for hurting me before I can start to think about it…”

He blinks back tears.

“I...can’t talk about this anymore, Mark. But I am sorry, I am so, so sorry for leaving you behind. I don’t know how I can ever make that up to you.”

Mark pulls him close and kisses him; a desperate, hungry, searching kiss.

“Just let me stay here in your arms tonight, Rob.”


	13. Homesick (Howard/Robbie)

It’s their first real, proper tour outside the U.K. and Robbie is homesick. Or mumsick is probably more precise. He tries to put on a show of being cool and tough and not bothered but he’s not fooling anyone. They all know how close he is to his mum and how hard being away from home is for him. He’s still a kid after all, though they won’t say it to his face because he’ll have them. So they try to carry on as best they can and discreetly ignore Robbie’s occasional sniffles from the back of the tour bus. They don’t want to make him feel self conscious. And they don’t really know how to handle it either. Best to just leave the lad alone is what they all tacitly agree to. 

Howard thinks that’s bollocks.

He makes his way down the aisle to the back of the bus and parks himself next to Robbie and throws his arm over his shoulder.

“Eh, Rob? You need to cry, you can cry on me, yeah? I got good shoulders to cry on.”

Robbie stiffens and defensively rubs his sniffly nose.

“I’m not cryin…”

“Pull the other one, Rob. It’s got bells on.”

Robbie glares at Howard.

Undeterred, Howard just reaches up and ruffles Robbie’s hair.

“Look, it’s alright if you’re homesick and it’s getting you down. I’m homesick too.”

Robbie looks surprised. 

“You are?”

Howard nods. “And I don’t blame ya for getting a little teary. I wanna cry meself sometimes being stuck with you bloody muppets.”

Robbie lets out a little giggle.

Howard smiles.

“But I mean it,” he says, pulling Robbie closer.

“You need to have yourself a good cry, you go ahead and do it. I’ll look out for ya.”

Robbie looks towards the front of the bus warily. Mark, he knows, wouldn’t make fun of him, but he doesn’t trust Gary or Jason.

Reading his mind, Howard says “don’t worry about them lot. If they make so much as a peep, I’ll have em.”

Robbie smiles and snuggles against Howard’s chest and impulsively places a quick kiss on his cheek.

“Y’know I don’t really feel like crying anymore. But you mind staying back here with me anyway?”

Howard kisses him on the forehead and smiles.

“Whatever you need, mate.”


	14. My greatest fear is (Mark/Robbie)

They’re listening carefully to the track that Mark has brought in, Gary frowning at the amount of vocal distortion and making a mental note to clear it off.

“My greatest fear is maybe you will notice I’m not what you wanted after all these years…” 

Mark takes a discreet look at Robbie but avoids eye contact. He’s been wanting him back for so long, so very long, and yet he’s been terrified by the idea too because what is he but a disappointment to anyone?

“I still think I’m in love with you…” God this is embarrassing. 

“It’s getting harder...harder to recover from the night before...when you turn me on…”

When was the last time Robbie had turned him on? Honestly, when did he not turn him on? 

“I still want to have sex with you!” 

Jesus Christ.

Mark stands up abruptly and walks out the door. 

He stands on the balcony, trembling with cold and wishing he’d thought to grab his coat or a pack of cigarettes.

Honestly he needs a drink more than anything else.

The door to the balcony slides open slowly and Robbie looks out cautiously.

“Markie? You right?”

Mark shrugs.

“Want a fag?” He holds up two cigarettes.

Mark nods. 

Robbie steps outside and lights the cigarettes for them.

They both take a long drag and then Robbie asks, “you write that song for your missus then?”

Mark shakes his head. 

“I thought I did. But no..no it’s not for her..we’re done, me and Emma. She wants a divorce, she does.”

Robbie looks at him sadly. “There’s still a chance you could patch it up, though?”

“Nah..not really. It’s not just the cheating y’know? Cos I think we could get past that…”

“Is it the drinking then?”

Mark hesitates. 

“That’s...part of it, yeah. And I...I don’t like me when I’m drinking... I don’t like me kids seeing me drunk...but no, what’s torn it is I’m in love with someone else…”

Robbie looks surprised. 

“Was it actually serious with one of them other birds?”

Mark lets out an impatient sigh.

“No you daft git, that were just sex. It’s you, you idiot. You’re the one I’m in love with.”

Robbie looks astonished.

“You’re in love with me? Since when?”

“Since bloody 1992 or summat, alright? And I’ve always known you wouldn’t want me and I’ve always known I would never be good enough for you and I’ve tried and tried to convince meself I was in love with Emma and honestly I think I was, but…”

He’s cut off by Robbie grabbing him and kissing him on the lips; a hard, rough, eager kiss.

“Listen to me. Don’t ever. EVER. think you’re not good enough for me.”

Mark looks at him, dumbfounded. 

“I love you, Markie. I have always loved you. But I never said because I’m poison, Markie, and you’re so good, you’re just so good and I didn’t want to get my poison on ya…”

Mark laughs. “That’s a bit ironic, innit?”

Robbie kisses him again and asks in a worried tone, “is that..is that why you been drinking? cos it’s been eating you up trying to pretend all these years?”

Mark considers this. “Probably...yeah...partly anyhow.”

Robbie looks at him guiltily. “I wish I’d known...see I told ya I’m poison…”

Mark kisses him fiercely and says “now *you* listen to *me* Don’t ever. EVER. call yourself poison. You are NOT poison. You didn’t make me have a drink problem and you didn’t make me cheat and you didn’t wreck my marriage, I did it all to myself, awwright?”

Robbie nods, looking like he still didn’t believe him, and then asks “so where do we go from here?”

Mark stubs out his cigarette and looks at him seriously.

“To rehab. I’m..I need help, Rob. I need to get better. For my kids at least...I...will you wait for me?”

Robbie wraps his arms around him and holds him close.

“I’d wait for life,” he whispers.


	15. I’ve never told you that!(Gary/Howard)

“You look..”

“Like a Greek god. Yeah, you might have said a few times.”

Gary protested. “I’ve never told you that before!”

Howard laughed. “Mate how many times have you said it in interviews? Or in your book??”

Gary pressed Howard against the wall and ran his hand down his chest and back up again and looked up with a half smile and a quirked eyebrow.

“Yes, but have I ever said it to you directly?”

“Not as such, no…” Howard answered with a twinkle in his eye. 

“But what I want to know is- cos I got a book about Greek myths and that, I did, since you’re always on about that…”

Gary snorted.

“No but really, what I want to know is, which Greek god?”

“Hercules? Apollo? Zeus?”

“Er…”

“Maybe I’m Pan? Do you think of me as a horny old goat?”

Gary laughed. “I think that’s you and me both, mate.”

“Yeah, too right that. One thing that bugs me though about you with the Greek god thing…”

“What’s that?”

“Them statues of them gods all got real tiny willies.”

“Hmmm yeah...hardly fitting is it?”

Gary ran his hand down to Howard’s crotch.

Howard shook his head. 

“How’s about you start calling me a centaur instead?”  
Gary grinned and gave Howard a quick squeeze. 

“Well you are hung like a horse.”


	16. Please just kiss me! (Mark/Howard) Mature

“Ho-o-waaard” Mark whined. 

“Ma-aaark” Howard teased.

“Do I really have to do this?” He regarded the short fitted dress, stockings, wig, and over the knee high heeled boots with a dubious air.

“You’re the one who gets off on crossdressing.”

Howard’s eyes sparkled mischievously. 

“Don’t mean I have to have all the fun. And you’re gonna look beautiful, mate. Tell you what, though, you can skip the wig if you like.”

Mark regarded him with a sour expression.

“Gee. Thanks. This had better be worth it, How.”

In response, Howard leaned in and nuzzled at Mark’s neck, blowing into his ear and pressing his body tight against his as he whispered “Trust me...it will be…”

Mark gulped. 

“I’ll just...go into the bathroom and put these things on then, shall I?”

He emerged a few moments later, awkwardly clearing his throat.

“How...how do I look?”

Howard’s pupils darkened.

“Yes,” he whispered to himself.

Aloud he said “Strut for me.”

Mark complied, swaying his hips as he walked up and down the room.

“I feel ridiculous, y’know.”  
Howard frowned. “Stop right there.”

Mark stopped.

“Stand in front of the mirror.”

Mark complied and looked at Howard expectantly.

Howard looked him up and down, letting out a pleased growl. 

“You’re gorgeous, you are…”

He stood behind Mark and ran his hand down his back to the edge of his skirt, briefly sliding it up and giving his bare arse a squeeze.

“Slag,” he whispered affectionately. “Such a pretty, pretty slag you are.”

He let his hand wander to the front of Mark and gave him a good squeeze there too. 

Mark shuddered and moaned at the touches.

“You’re a pretty little bitch aren’t you? Yes you are...you’re my pretty little bitch.”

His voice deepened. 

“Say it,” he ordered.

“Howard?” Mark asked him anxiously. 

“Say it and I’ll give you a kiss.”

Mark sighed. 

“I’myourprettylittlebitch” he mumbled almost incomprehensibly. “Howard please just kiss me already…”

Howard shook his head. “Eh...what’s that? Think I must be losing my hearing…”

Mark sighed again. 

“I”M YOUR PRETTY LITTLE BITCH, THERE ARE YOU HAPPY?”

Howard grinned.  
“Not as happy as you’re gonna be,” he murmured as he pulled Mark to him and finally sealed his mouth over his.


	17. At least I’ll be a competent housewife (Mark/Robbie)

Robbie watches in bemusement as Mark hangs up their outfits for the next day in the shower to let the steam press the wrinkles out, scrapes and rinses out the dishes before leaving them on a tray in the hall for room service to pick up along with a thank you note and even pulls a small vacuum cleaner out of his suitcase to clear the crumbs off their bed.

“We’re fucking pop stars, Markie. We’re supposed to be trashing hotel rooms, not practicing to be bloody housewives!”

Mark frowns.

“Don’t be awful, Rob, there’s no cause to make things difficult for the folks who work here.”

He adds in a somewhat quieter voice, “And I don’t know that I’d mind being a housewife someday when all this ends. At least I’ll be a competent housewife.”

“You *would* look awfully cute in a frilly apron, wouldn’t you? Would you do the housework in heels as well? I daresay you’d have to wouldn’t you?” 

Mark pouts.

“Not funny, Rob.”

“Aww come off it, it was only a joke.” Robbie does actually feel rather sorry upon seeing the hurt expression on Mark’s face.

“You don’t really want to be a housewife do ya Markie? You’re a star!”

Mark shrugs. 

“I dunno...I guess I...I like the idea of taking care of someone, y’know? Making a nice home for them... I mean...at least I know I’m good at that…” 

He looks down, somewhat embarrassed, and mumbles “you’re gonna be a much bigger star than me but I wouldn’t mind being your wife and taking care of you…”

Robbie blushes slightly and gives him a lopsided grin with an undercurrent of worry in it. He hates it when Mark puts himself down. 

“Well *I* think we’re both gonna be megastars. But if I get a solo number one first, then I’ll propose to you first thing. Do you fancy a June wedding?”

He smiles again as he sees Mark’s lips start to twitch in amusement and leans in and plants a soft, swift kiss on them and whispers in his ear.

“All kidding aside, if I ever did want to be anyone’s husband, it would definitely be yours.”


	18. I’m not manipulative, I’m just terrifying.(Jason/Howard) Mature

“I still say you should sing the song, not me. Christine was your bloody girlfriend, not mine.”

Howard takes a long sip of his coffee and frowns at Jason. 

“Song’s got nowt to do with me or Christine really and we both know it. You can tell the story we made up just as well as I can and better besides.”

Jason shakes his head.

“Tell it maybe, yeah. But singin it’s a different thing, innit?”

He licks his lips nervously and looks worriedly at the vocal booth.

“What if I bung it up?”

“You can always do another take.”

“What if I have to do fifty takes and it’s still not any good?”

“Then you can do fifty more.”

Jason eyes him warily. 

“If that was meant to be reassuring, it’s not exactly working, mate.”

Howard sighs. 

“You’re gonna be fine, Jay. I know you’re scared but you’re gonna be brilliant.”

“Promise me you won’t get mad when I sound awful?”

Howard frowns. “Hey now. Don’t. None of that now.”

Jason laughs nervously. “Suppose we could always overdub Gaz on it if I make everyone’s ears bleed…”

Right. That’s it.

Howard stands up and takes Jason by the hand and practically drags him into the vocal booth. He stands close to him, facing him, nose to nose, chest to chest, close enough to kiss or touch or…

He leans in and kisses Jason hotly on the lips and lets his hand wander down to his groin.

“What do I have to do to make you stop talking bollocks and sing already?”

Jason looks amused. 

“Offering me sex to get me to do what you want? Isn’t that a bit manipulative?”

Howard makes a mock pouting face. 

“I’m not manipulative,” he insists. “I’m just…”

“Terrifying?” Jason helpfully supplies.

Howard cocks his head in confusion. Jason laughs.

“Alright, you’re not terrifying. But this is...it’s….ohhhhh”

He’s cut off by Howard pressing his lips over his again and giving his arse a firm squeeze.

“You know, I don’t know that I mind being manipulated, actually…”

Howard pulls back and grins at him.

“Good. Now sing the bloody song and I just might give you a blowjob in here when you’re done.”

Jason’s eyebrows shoot up at that and he steps up to the mic.

“A litle boy me went fishing in a wooden boat…”

Sometimes you just need the right motivation.


	19. You could politely describe him as a manwhore. (Mark/Howard) Explicit

It never failed to amuse Howard how, despite Mark’s penchant for dressing like an 8 year old boy going to Easter services with his grandmother and outwardly innocent demeanor, Mark was really..well you could politely describe him as a manwhore, but the term that came to Howard’s mind was more like “an absolutely massive slag.”

Take That might have left the codpieces and floor humping behind in their stage shows in favor of more wholesome, family friendly fare but offstage was a different story altogether.

Offstage but not *completely* away from the stage. Still with a good chance of being seen. Of being watched.

That was how Mark liked it. And his...well you could politely call it his enthusiasm..for getting off in public places was so strong that you found yourself willingly going along with it even if you were shy because god did Mark know how to make you feel soooo damn good.

Which was how Howard found himself on top of the Giant Mechanical Elephant in the carrier basket type thing they stood in to perform The Garden with a half naked Mark Owen on his lap who was moaning ridiculously loudly as he rode him.

They were fairly well hidden under the stage area where the elephant was parked so there was a still a chance of them not being seen but there was absolutely no chance of them not being heard.

But Howard found it difficult to care about much besides the way Mark was rolling his hips and tightening around his cock.

To care about much besides how fucking good it felt to be buried balls deep inside him while hearing him make the filthiest sounds as he stroked him off, both of them getting closer and closer to…

“Ooh! Look! Bubbles!”

Mark’s eyes were suddenly wide with child-like excitement.

Sure enough, there were streams of large, brightly colored bubbles floating into the air around them. Someone must have found the bubble machine they’d gotten when they were debating possibly incorporating spraying the audience with colored bubbles into the show.

Howard looked at the bubbles and the excited look on Mark’s face and at how he was still grinding on him and found himself bursting out laughing.

“What’s so funny?”

“Oh nothing…” Howard answered as he thrust up again. 

“Just don’t ever change, okay?”


	20. I thought you said you can’t dance (Gary/Howard)

The two of them are at a club and a somewhat tipsy Gary has pulled an amused Howard onto the dance floor with him.

“THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU COULDN’T DANCE”, Howard shouts over the music.

Gary grins at him as he steps out of sync to the rhythm of the song and claps on the off-beat. 

“I CAN’T!” He cheerfully admits as he rather awkwardly grinds his hips against Howard and then drapes his arms over Howard’s shoulders and leans up to kiss him briefly and then wriggles away with a beckoning arch of his eyebrow.

“BUT I DON’T CARE!”

The dancer in Howard wants so badly to correct Gary’s terrible moves. But the friend in Howard, the one who knows that Gary works too hard and is too serious and ambitious by half and terrible at relaxing, is absolutely delighted with how much fun Gary’s having.

And the boyfriend in Howard, well, he wouldn’t exactly mind Gary grinding on him and kissing him some more.

To that end, he pulls Gary close to him once more and presses into him with a kiss and a smile and a whispered “Mind if I lead?” and Gary sinks into him and the two of them lose themselves in each other.

Gary is right. He really can’t dance.

But it really doesn’t matter.


	21. You’re so clever (Jason/Mark)

“That’s it, that’s it..you’ve got it…”

Jason beams with pride watching Mark finally master the shoulder spins he’s spent so long teaching him.

“That was brilliant, mate. You’re so clever,” he tells him as he leans in to give him a kiss as his reward for doing well.

Mark accepts the kiss, but not the compliment, blushing as he murmurs “‘m shit really, I just have a good teacher.”

Jason frowns at him. 

“Hey-hey now,” he says softly, “Don’t. That’s a really tricky move, that. You should feel proud you’ve mastered it.”

Mark looks doubtful. 

“If I really were clever, it wouldn’t have taken me so long to get it right.”

He sighs.

“Nige is right. ‘m not really good for much but bein’ cute.”

Jason sits down next to him on the floor and drapes his arm over his shoulder and playfully tousles his hair. 

“Well you are dead cute, I gotta say, but I still say you’re clever too.”

Mark lets out a short laugh.

“I mean it, Markie. You know how long it took me and How to learn how to do shoulder spins? Months it took us. And you got them down in a few weeks.”

“Yeah but they’re nowhere near as good as yours are.”

“I’ve been doing this for years longer than you have, mate, give yourself a break. You’re getting there. That’s what counts.”

He smiles at Mark teasingly and reminds him, “least you’re already miles better than Gaz.”

Mark bursts into giggles and then quickly covers his face and mutters guiltily, “Don’t be awful. Besides I’d give anything to be able to write songs like him.”

“How’s it going with learning the keyboard then?” Jason asks, remembering that Mark bought one of Gary’s old keyboards to try and write songs of his own. 

Mark groans. “Slow. Gaz keeps saying he’ll teach me how to play it properly but he never does so I’ve been having to poke around and figure it out myself.”

Jason pats him on the back. 

“I’m sure you’ll get it soon enough and before we all know it, Gaz is gonna have some serious songwriting competition.”

Mark laughs again. 

“That’d be something.”

He shakes his head. “Nah, I’m never gonna dance like you or write songs like Gaz. ‘m not clever enough for that..’m not goo…”

Jason shifts so he’s facing Mark and takes his face in his hands and leans in to shut him up with a kiss and then pulls back.

“Now you listen to me. You are not going to dance like Jason Orange or write songs like Gary Barlow because you know why? You’re going to do those things like Mark Owen. And you’re going to be brilliant at doing things in your own way because you’re dead clever, alright?” 

“But…”

Jason shuts him up with another kiss.

“I can do this all night you know.”

Mark’s eyes dance with mischief as he responds, “oh really? Well I feel like I’m worthl…”

Jason bursts out laughing as he kisses him again.

“See, I told you you was clever.”


	22. I feel like I’ve known you forever (Gary/Howard)

It was amazing really, how quickly Howard and Gary took to one another.

It shouldn’t have worked, the two of them. A brashly confident young pub singer and aspiring songwriter best friends with a painfully shy dancer.

And yet somehow it did.

Within weeks of meeting they were regularly crashing at each other’s flats, staying up talking all night about music- Howard introducing Gary to a whole new world of modern dance and club and house music he’d never heard of before, both of them playing around with synths and mixers and talking about hopes for this new group they’d been put in. 

Alone with just the two of them, Gary found that Howard was more at ease and comfortable with speaking his mind.

And Howard found that the confidence bordering on arrogance that Gary showed in public was somewhat of a front and he was more insecure than he let on. 

That was what worked about them. Gary made Howard feel more confident and Howard let Gary be vulnerable.

Not that they ever put that into words. It was just a feeling they had. That it was easy around one another. Comfortable. 

It was like coming home.

And so when one night, after drinking a couple of beers and playing a couple of records, Howard leaned in to kiss Gary for the first time and they ended up tangled up in bed together hardly knowing where one started and the other stopped, it was scarcely even a surprise to either of them even though they neither of them had ever thought of themselves as gay.

They still weren’t sure what they were. But they knew they were soulmates.

Gary smiled contentedly when he woke up the next morning snuggled tight in Howard’s arms and listened to him softly snoring.

“I feel like I’ve known you forever”, he whispered as he burrowed into him even closer and drifted back to sleep.


	23. I Would Never Doubt You (Mark/Robbie) Explicit

As is frequently the case when traveling with the band, Robbie has ditched his hotel room in favor of crawling into Mark’s bed for a cuddle.

(Alright, perhaps a bit more than a cuddle.)

They’re lying tangled in a post coital heap now, sheets kicked to the floor.

Robbie nuzzles the top of Mark’s head, murmuring “never ever gonna let you go.”

“Thought you wanted to quit,” Mark mumbles lazily. He’s still feeling the afterglow and doesn’t want to think.

“Oh I do..I can’t...I don’t belong here, Markie.”

Mark starts to tell him “you do” but something stops him and he just snuggles in closer and idly runs his fingernails over Robbie’s chest.

“But I belong to you.”

He leans down to kiss Mark’s lips, smiling at the soft moan as his tongue slips inside and his hand squeezes his arse.

“And you belong to me.”

He spreads Mark’s legs apart, pushing into him. They’ve just fucked but he wants to take him again. To claim him as his.

“And that’s never going to change.”

Mark wants to ask how-how can it not change if Robbie isn’t going to be here anymore, how can it not be different if they’re not spending their every moment together anymore, but Robbie thrusts up just then and his thoughts are cut off.

“You believe me, right?” Robbie gasps out as he pounds into him.

“Believe I would never let you go?”

He kisses Mark again, sealing his mouth over his possessively as he strokes his cock off in his hand and coaxes him to his second orgasm of the night and Mark cums in his arms, dazed and trembling and looks up with a smile that is half debauched, half adoring.

“Course I do. I would never doubt you.”

And Robbie smiles contentedly, easily drifting off to sleep after he rides out his own orgasm while Mark lies awake in his arms and wonders why he can’t tell Robbie the truth.


End file.
